Our dating culture sucks.
Match on tinder, chat and banter, meet up, bang or don’t bang, bye have a nice life. (Something along those lines anyway)
In essence there’s nothing wrong with having a couple of casual interactions – sex is a basic human need after all.
The problem comes when it keeps happening and nothing meaningful comes of it, you start to feel like a piece of meat. You start to wonder what’s wrong with you. Why don’t these guys fall head over heels in love with you the second their P hits your V?
I don’t have the answer (believe me I wish I did) but here’s what I’ve been thinking:
1) we make it too easy
I was chatting to one of my best guy friends and something he said got stuck in my brain. Basically he said that some girls make it so easy to get in and be casual. while they might be amazing girls they present no challenge. “We are hunters Dom, easy meat is edible but it’s not a prize”
2) the definition of insanity
Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
It pretty much explains my point but just to take it a step further: if the first guy didn’t fall for you instantly, and the second didn’t either then chances are, the third (fourth, fifth) won’t either.
So now what?
I’m trying to do things a little differently. Am I still on tinder? Yup. Am I still going to meet guys from tinder. Most likely. Am I doing the whole casual thing? No. Not anymore. Why? Because I don’t like wondering why they don’t want to date me. I don’t like that feeling of insecurity. I don’t like the fact that I fell into the trap of placing my self worth in someone else’s hands.
Rather than obsessing over someone else’s opinion, I’m trying to build up my own opinion of myself. I’m learning to value the person I am. Because that’s way more important that any guy in the world. Even Prince Charming.