I started off the year with a fantastic Summer flu. Yay me.
I matched with JVDM on the 31st (wouldn’t have normally matched him but he super liked me so gave him the benefit of the doubt) and we chatted and had a bit of banter. We both worked NYE so was cool to have someone to talk to that wasn’t partying but working like me.
He asked if we could meet up the next day and I said yes.
Anyway the next day I woke up feeling like death and around 4 I said I’m not going out coz I didn’t feel well and then a little later I decided to go on a mission for pizza (way harder than I thought on New Year’s Day) and I was chatting to him and he asked to join. Bear in mind I looked like shit and had a full on fever. Anyway we ended up going to a restaurant (after trawling around for like an hour) because none of the fast food pizza places were an option.
We chatted a lot and it was entertaining but when he ordered on my behalf (the lady will have bacon feta Avo) and started mouthing off about his ex I was like, no thanks. Oh and then when the bill came he said “we pretty much had the same thing so I guess we just split it down the middle” I was like hmm ok.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for equality and being an independent woman but I think making a girl pay for stuff on the first date/meet up is tacky AF.
He also said a few things that made me think he is very controlling and expects a woman to be a certain way and anything else is just not normal.
Then in the car on the way home he was saying how he always preferred curvy girls over skinny ones and I was like damn that’s patronizing. In fact that’s the perfect description: patronizing.
So ja, not a slam dunk dateski by any measure so there won’t be a second one. Interesting guy but def not Prince Charming.
Plus the pizza made my tummy hurt which I think is a sign from the universe.
WVH wanted to do something on Tuesday but I ended up having a super kak day so I bailed. Then Wednesday he called saying he wants to see me and wouldn’t take no for an answer. So I thought we were going for drinks or something. No, it ended up being a braai with his friends.
Don’t get me wrong, I love braais. But meeting a whole bunch of people all at once in that kind of setting can be a little intimidating.
He also insisted I pack an overnight bag (voorbaarig!)
Anyway, the braai was fun and the people were nice and friendly and easy to get along with.
I did end up staying over (no drinking and driving here thanks)
As nice as the evening was, it helped me to decide that WVH is not the guy for me. He’s cool and all, just not what I’m looking for.
As my friend Pieter often says: “jy is nou ten minste n vriend ryker”
On Friday night I worked as a shooter girl and I was slightly under the influence – was loads of fun, made good tips and met cool people.
I woke up on Saturday morning to a whatsapp message from a guy (didn’t remember giving it, but do remember kissing him – as one does)
So anyway, he asked to take me out for lunch today – sushi, at my fav sushi spot in CT so of course I said yes.
I won’t lie, I was a bit apprehensive because I couldn’t remember if he was good looking or not (the power of beer goggles) but luckily when I got there he wasn’t bad looking. Super tall though shoh.
We chatted nicely and it was cool to hang out – he is intelligent so it was interesting to talk.
He paid and then we left, bit of an awkward hug coz he’s tall and I’m weird with hugs (lol)
He messaged me soon after and asked me to come over for series and cuddles (aka Netflix and Chill) but I said no because I don’t know how I feel about it and that kind of thing just complicates things – or makes ghosting way too easy. I just feel really indecisive at the moment because there’s so much that I want to do and so much I am working towards that I don’t know if I’m ready for anyone right now but I also don’t want to close myself off from opportunities either.
Not sure how this will pan out but it was a nice afternoon. Glad I went.
So, on weekends I work part time at a bar to make a lil extra cash (strong independent woman and all that) and on my first training shift I had an eye contact moment with this guy. Let’s call him ADL. He was walking past with his friends and I happened to look up as he looked in and our eyes connected and there was this zing. (I know it sounds crazy but w/e) he came into the bar and we started talking a little but it was a busy night so it was pretty intermittent. He left and came back later just before my shift ended and he was like please don’t leave before we have spoken.
On my way out, he asked me for my number and asked me to stay for a drink but I decided to rather head home (it was a long night)
Anyway that was about a month ago. We have been chatting ever since. We know there’s chemistry, we definitely like each other. There’s just one (big) problem. He’s not single. He has a gf, they’ve been on a “break” for a while. But honestly that doesn’t mean anything. If you have a girlfriend then you ate not single whether you’re on a break or not.
Two of my best girl friends both know him from school days and both of them say he wasn’t a good guy back in the day and that while he might have changed since then, both of them said he’s not the one for me.
It’s such a pity because I really enjoy talking to him and there’s definitely something there. But the gf thing and a crazy past? Not ideal. Not Prince Charming.
I’m seeing him later, and I’m gonna ask him (again) about the gf story. It could be that maybe I’ve just built it all up in my head. But I don’t think so.
Just had to jot it down here. I’ll update everything later.
Update: I ended things with ADL. Not that it was anything serious but I told him I don’t want to chat anymore because it’s too complicated and he needs to sort his shit out with his gf rather than chatting to other girls and I don’t want to be hurt because he can’t make up his mind what he wants.
We haven’t spoken since I told him that on Monday but I saw his profile pic has changed to him and his gf kissing so I guess that’s that. Does it hurt? A little. Was I expecting it? No, but I’m not surprised either.
I’ll be ok. I always am.
Tonight I met up with a tinder match for drinks (sparkling water for me – long story) let’s call him T. We’ve been chatting a while and made a couple of tentative plans to meet up but it hasn’t happened til now. We usually chat about training (both into fitness) and his latest obsession/guilty pleasure Geordie shore and work etc.
The last two Sundays we were supposed to meet up for a drink somewhere nearby and both times we either forgot or didn’t text or whatever (Ja I know, so why bother at all right?) anyway so he said he’s got a present for me as a token of his apology. And we’ve been joking about it ever since. (Like pretending the present is actually a surprise wedding or engagement etc)
anyway I was teasing him about him standing me up twice and he was like oh Ja do you want your present! of course I said yes!
So he scratches in his jeans pocket and brings out something and hands it over. A flash drive. 😳 so I was like ummmm what? Then I started laughing and said omg don’t tell me it’s Geordie shore. he just laughed and said it’s 4 gigs that changed my life and it will change yours. And wouldn’t say anything else.
We chatted some more and then it was time to call it.
when I got home I rushed to plug the flash drive in and there it was – Geordie shore season 1 plus the specials 😂
Am I a total dorkus that I found this whole thing super cute and funny? Maybe. But I like the thought process and the effort he made.
As we were leaving he asked to see me on Sunday when he gets back from his weekend away so I joked and said, no you’re pretty kak with Sundays so he said well I’m off til Wednesday so let’s do Monday or Tuesday then. I would say that’s a pretty positive sign.
Over all, not a bad mini date!
Update: saw him again and realised he’s shorter than me and has a small frame too. Didn’t realise that at first because we were seated most of the time. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with that but I’m not attracted. The chemistry just isn’t there.
I’m happy that we’ve connected though 👌🏼